We get slammed 24/7 with new Apple rumors. Some are accurate, most are not. To give you a clue about what’s really coming out of Cupertino in the future, we’re busting out our rumor debunker each week to blow up…Read more ›
Waiting for Apple’s iWatch? Good luck with that if you’re expecting anything fancier than a fitness-tracking iPod nano with a wrist strap. You should save your money, your hopes and your time and buy Beloved Crapware Vendor™ Brando’s Fashionable Bluetooth Vibrating Bracelet + Watch instead.
This piece of plastic tat connects to any smartphone via Bluetooth (the battery sucking old Bluetooth, not the fancy new everlasting low-energy Bluetooth) and vibrates for any incoming calls, showing caller-ID on-screen as it does so. It also suffers from severe separation anxiety, buzzing away at you if your phone is allowed to get more than two meters away (that’s around six feet in last century’s measurement).
It is, in every sense of the word, junk. And yet it’s styling (Daft Punk crossed with cheap 1980s novelty sunglasses) and cuteness make me love it. Especially as it’ll only cost you like $50, which is a fraction of the price of the unicorn tears you’ll haver to drip onto a Philosopher’s Stone to make a genuine iWatch spring forth (Digitimes reports that Apple is using its huge cash reserves to buy up the entire eastern world’s supply of unicorns).